


i run for miles just to get a taste

by dialecstatic



Series: whatever a sun will always sing is you [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Dom/sub Undertones, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Other, Smut, Trans Character, jazz hands i do what i want, slight edging, they/them pronouns, trans girl!kun, transfeminine!taeil, we are: out there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-29 01:56:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14462541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dialecstatic/pseuds/dialecstatic
Summary: yukhei has a crush he doesn't know what to do with, and taeil has all the answers he didn't know he needed.





	i run for miles just to get a taste

**Author's Note:**

> imagine me as a goblin living under a bridge handing out all the rarepairs you never knew you wanted.
> 
> this started off as one fic idea and turned into something almost entirely different because life is just like that, uh.
> 
> taeil calls yukhei "xuxi" in this fic because uhhhh idk actually, its just his name, but just a heads up. 
> 
> title from "love on the brain" by rihanna

Yukhei can’t tear his eyes away.

 

Try as he might, even with the usual cacophony around him - they’re at their favorite post-class hang out, and everyone is recounting their day, talking over each other as usual - he can’t focus on any conversation going on. Instead; his eyes are strained on the hem of Taeil’s skirt where it sits above their knee, the barest hint of smooth thigh coming into view and making Yukhei’s breath come in a little short.

 

It shouldn’t be such an hypnotizing view. He’s known Taeil for months now, and he’s seen the elder in skirts multiple times, but they never fail to knock the air from his lungs. Taeil is beautiful, the sharp angles of their face offset by the way they style their hair and the flowy fabrics they wear, and they command attention when they move and speak, a gentle yet strong presence in their little disjointed group. Yeah, Taeil is beautiful, and Yukhei would be lying if he said that seeing them isn’t one of the things he looks forward to the most everyday.

 

He would also be lying if he said he never laid awake at night, alone with thoughts of the way Taeil’s favorite shirt exposes the curve of their shoulders, of the way they touch their fingers to their lips when they’re thinking, of those awful, awful thigh high boots they wore for Taeyong’s birthday. He’d be lying if he denied that he’d let his hand wander south as those images filled his mind, hips bucking up into the ghost of a touch, Taeil’s name slipping out of his mouth as he made a mess of himself.

 

He feels someone tapping his shoulder as he wanders in thought, and he jumps in his seat, turning his head to find Kun staring at him with a concerned expression on her face.

 

“You okay, babe?”

 

The familiarity isn’t weird anymore. In high school he’d been more guarded, defensive against his own soft side, leading the pack. No one would have called him that back then, but Kun isn’t necessarily someone who concerns herself with what’s accepted by the general population. Yukhei is thankful for her, for all of them. He finds himself more and more when he looks at himself through their eyes.

 

“Yeah! Fine, just a little tired. Think I’m gonna wrap it up early.” Yukhei says, leaning his head against Kun’s shoulder and nuzzling her jaw. “I got an assignment to finish anyway.”

 

It’s a lie, but she doesn’t need to know that.

 

Kun just sighs and ruffles his hair, yelping when Yukhei moves his head and tries to bite her fingers. They’ve been like this since the start, Kun immediately taking liking to Yukhei in all his gangly, over the top glory.

 

“Okay well, take care of yourself. It’s your first year, don’t overdo it.” she says, rubbing Yukhei’s arm when he grabs his bag and readies to leave.

 

He waves everyone goodbye, his heart falling in the pit of his stomach when Taeil blows him a kiss, their smile like an arrow through his chest. If he bleeds out, maybe flowers will grow in his place.

 

When he gets back to his room, Yukhei immediately flops down on his bed, any thoughts of rest abandoned in favor of powder pink cotton over skin. It’s unbearable, the effect Taeil has on him, how Yukhei is completely wrapped around their little finger and unwilling to ever detangle himself. His first party as a college kid, he’d gotten unreasonably drunk and ended up with his head in their lap, managing to fall asleep despite the noise as they carded delicate fingers through his hair. Yukhei is pretty sure he’s never hated anyone as much as he’d hated Jaehyun for waking him up and dragging him back to the dorm that night, the elder throwing him unceremoniously on his comforter. It felt cold and rough against his cheek, a harsh reality.

 

Right now though, it’s welcome company as he closes his eyes, traces the lines of Taeil’s legs in his mind, wandering past the fabric. He snaps out of it when his phone buzzes in his pocket, and nearly falls off the bed altogether when he sees the name flashing on the screen.

 

 **[Taeil (6:32PM)]** _Hey there. Do you have a moment?_

 

Yukhei twists his body like a worm on the end of a fish hook to sit up, his hands fumbling with the phone for a moment, holding it at arm’s length as if Taeil in the flesh were about to jump out of it.

 

 **[You (6:32PM)]** _‘Sup?_

 

Oh you fucking idiot.

 

Yukhei throws his phone on the other end of the bed like it’s cursed, staring at it through his fingers.

 

Another buzz.

 

 **[Taeil (6:33PM)]** _I was wondering if you could come over._

 

Yukhei is fairly sure his heart is about to explode.

 

 **[Taeil (6:33PM)]** _I’m practicing my song for the spring festival but I need someone to tell me how it sounds._

 

Yukhei furrows his brows. Taeil usually practices their singing with Doyoung, and Yukhei isn’t exactly an expert on vocal technique, so he most likely has nothing good to say. Still, as confused and unsure as he is, he’s never going to pass up an opportunity to hear Taeil sing. Their voice is like what he imagines sunset would sound like, warm and vibrant, and Yukhei never gets tired of watching how impassioned they get when they perform.

 

 **[You (6:34PM)]** _Sure. Be there in a bit!_

 

It takes Yukhei a few moments to collect himself, thoughts racing through his mind as he steps out the door. He has to check the lock on the door three times over, because everytime he thinks he has things under control, his mind goes back to Taeil and everything becomes jumbled.

 

Taeil lives in a studio apartment just a few blocks from campus, close enough to walk. Yukhei takes the opportunity to try and clear his head, but the adrenaline rushing to his head isn’t helping. He tries to think about what Kun said, to not overdo it, but he’s not sure he can ever keep his composure around Taeil, as much as he tries (or doesn’t, he thinks, depending on who you ask. Mark had told him enough times that he looked like a lovesick puppy, and maybe that was true). His hand is shaking when he pushes the intercom button, and he almost trips over the threshold when Taeil unlocks the door.

 

They haven’t changed, the skirt still tight around their waist, the hem still brushing over the bend of their knees as they invite Yukhei in. There’s sheet music scattered across the small coffee table, and the convertible bed is open, taking up most of the space in the room. It’s hard to maneuver when you’re six feet tall and your thoughts won’t stop racing.

 

“So...” Oh god. “That song.”

 

Taeil smiles, leaning against the door as they watch Yukhei trying to make sense of his surroundings.

 

“Do you like it?”

 

Uh?

 

“I haven’t. Heard it yet.” Yukhei mumbles, tentatively picking up some sheet music that he can’t decipher. When he finally dares to look at Taeil, they’re rolling the hem of the skirt between their fingers, revealing more leg than Yukhei thinks he can handle right now.

 

Oh.

 

“I noticed, you know.” Taeil says, cocking their head to the side. “I mean, we all kinda did. Ten won’t stop texting me about it.”

Of course he won’t. Ten has seemingly made it his mission to embarrass all of them before he graduates.

 

“So do you like it?” Taeil asks again. There’s no way out of this.

 

“It looks… very pretty. Um. I like the color. It suits you.” Fuck shit fuck.

 

Taeil laughs, taking a few steps towards Yukhei. He towers over them and still, their gaze makes him feel small, makes him want to drop to his knees.

 

Before he knows it, Taeil is crowding his space, and he falls on his ass on the bed. The elder’s fingers easily find his chin, tilting his head up, studying the lines of his face. Yukhei thinks he might pass out if Taeil keeps looking at him like that.

 

“And me?” is all they say, smiling sweetly.

 

Yukhei swallows hard. In hindsight, he realizes he hasn’t exactly been subtle about all the staring at Taeil he’s been doing over the past few months, and he probably set himself up for this. Still, having Taeil’s attention on him like this is something he isn’t remotely prepared for.

 

“I… I just…”

 

“You’re so cute, _Xuxi_.”

 

There’s something about the way that name rolls off of Taeil’s tongue that makes Yukhei shiver all over, eyes falling shut, lips parting so he can try to breathe a little easier.

 

“Do you want me, baby?”

 

Fuck. How did things escalate like this?

 

“Y-yes. Please, fuck, please…” Yukhei replies before he can even think about it. Taeil is tracing the curve of his jaw with their fingers, giggling a little at the curse word.

 

With his eyes still closed, Yukhei feels himself being pushed onto his back, instinctively crawling further up the bed. He feels the mattress dip and when he opens his eyes, Taeil is straddling him, the skirt spread across their thighs. Yukhei really does like that skirt.

 

“For how long?” Taeil inquires, nimble fingers grabbing the bottom hem of Yukhei’s shirt and pushing it up his stomach.

 

“Ever since I first met you.”

 

Yukhei figures honesty is the best way to go in this situation, and it seems to work. Taeil smiles, tugging at the shirt in a silent command for Yukhei to lift up his arms. He complies with a whimper, his hair falling haphazardly in his face as the garment is discarded somewhere on the bed. Taeil brushes it out, leaning forward to rest their forehead against Yukhei’s. With that motion, their crotches are pressed together and Yukhei whines in spite of himself at the sensation. It resonates throughout the room, the only music here tonight.

 

“Can I kiss you?” Taeil breathes out, and their faces are so close together already that all Yukhei can do is nod desperately.

 

Taeil kisses like they sing, smooth movements of their lips that enrapture Yukhei and leave him breathless. In that moment, he decides, he wants Taeil to consume him whole.

 

Lucky for him, they seem to be on the same wavelength.

 

Taeil shifts off of him and runs a hand over his thigh, trapping their bottom lip between their teeth as they inch closer to his crotch. Yukhei doesn’t need to look down to know he’s already hard, all his fantasies crashing down on him at once. He still twists his neck to look at Taeil’s hands as they undo the button on his jeans, eyes strained on the movements, all the times he’d wished for those hands on him flashing through his mind. He wants this, he wants it so badly it almost makes him dizzy, his mind struggling to stay focused even when he feels denim being dragged down his thighs, even when the cool air of the room hits his skin as Taeil rids him of his boxers.

 

“Fuck.” he curses under his breath when Taeil runs a finger across the underside of his cock, making his gut tighten for a second before pulling away.

 

He’s been intimate with people before. A few faceless, nameless guys since the beginning of college, and it had all been good, but it had never been like this, Yukhei feeling vulnerable and soft, putty in Taeil’s hands. He wants to find out where that bubbling feeling in his chest will lead, and extends a hand to Taeil without thinking, hips arching off the bed.

 

“Touch me?” it’s a plea hidden in a question, half-lidded eyes begging for contactl.

 

“How do you want it?”

 

“Slow. Please, I…”

 

I want to live in this moment for as long as I can.

 

Something flashes across Taeil’s face and they smile, stepping off the bed to rummage under it, coming up with a small bottle of what is unmistakably lube. Oh, okay then.

 

“Is that okay?” Taeil asks as they sit down between Yukhei’s legs, soft cotton draped across their knees.

 

It’s mesmerizing, it’s awful and it’s amazing. Yukhei wants to touch them so badly, to feel their skin against his, to align their bodies and see how they fit together. He wants to hold their waist, kiss every inch of them, to slide his hands under that goddamned skirt, worship them like they deserve.

 

But for now, Taeil seems to have other plans, and Yukhei’s curiosity gets the better of him.

 

“Yes. Yes please, anything just… Please touch me. I need it I… I need you.” Yukhei can’t stop his mouth from running away with all the thoughts he’d held inside for the past months.

 

“Stay still for me.” Taeil says with a smile.

 

It takes all of his willpower and then some, but Yukhei grips the sheets and vows to do just that, letting Taeil spread his legs open some more, trying to focus on the way Taeil’s fingers move across his skin and then around the bottle, lube squeezing out with a wet sound that makes them both giggle like it’s the first time either of them has done this. Yukhei keeps watching as Taeil traps their tongue between their lips in concentration, even as he feels cold wetness against his rim, even as…

 

The world goes for a spin as Taeil pushes a finger inside, slow and tortuous, Yukhei throwing his head back against the pillows, pressing down to try and control himself. He feels his thigh muscles contracting, tries to take some deep breaths to relax as he takes Taeil’s finger in to the last knuckle, his mind hazy with need and want. This isn’t how he had imagined it, the images blurring in his head, but it’s somehow better, his inhibitions fading and replaced by all the sensations he’s finally allowing himself to feel.

 

“All good?” Taeil asks, their voice steady and clear.

 

Yukhei breathes out a ‘yes, please don’t stop’, words jumbled on his tongue, whining in the back of his throat as Taeil starts moving their finger, the drag and pull making Yukhei weak in the knees. This is simple, mundane even, but because it’s Taeil, and because it’s like this, Yukhei’s soul and body stripped bare, it feels like he’s caught up in a dream.

 

Reality comes crashing down on him when Taeil wraps their other hand around his cock, whistling as they notice the precome already leaking from the tip. Yukhei can’t really help or excuse himself, so he takes it in stride, even as his gut threatens to catch on fire when Taeil smears the fluid down his length and starts moving their hands in tandem.

 

“You’re such a good boy, Xuxi.” Taeil says, almost nonchalantly, as if they don’t have both hands on the most private parts of Yukhei, as if he’s not completely at their mercy.

“So sweet and responsive.”

 

They punctuate their words with a second finger, and the stretch burns in the best way.

 

“I could have you like this all day.”

 

Taeil keeps talking and Yukhei closes his eyes, letting their voice guide him through the maze of his own feelings, his body an unmarked map. Their hand on his cock is just tight enough to drag, flicks of their wrist sending an electric current through Yukhei’s gut and he cries out, no time to recollect himself before Taeil’s fingers graze his prostate and he feels like he’s tumbling backwards into nothing, his legs giving out.

 

“Fuck, ahh--”

 

“Hold on, baby. We’re not there yet.” Taeil states calmly, almost unsettlingly so given the situation. “Stay with me.”

 

Yukhei does his best to comply, hands holding his own legs open, heat creeping up on his inner thighs. He always knew that if he’d ever found himself in Taeil’s bed, he probably wouldn’t last long, but they obviously have a different idea of how this is going to go. They keep their rhythm slow, fingers sliding almost all the way out as they swipe their thumb over the head of Yukhei’s cock, smiling when he helplessly clenches down around their digits.

 

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.” and almost as if to make sure Yukhei understands, they push their fingers back in, aiming for the killing spot.

 

Yukhei’s vision nearly goes white as the heat in his stomach tightens, threatening to boil over at any moment, but he holds himself down, somehow, even though his mind is running a mile a minute with the feeling of Taeil’s hand on his cock, Taeil’s fingers inside him, Taeil’s voice echoing off the walls, Taeil, Taeil, _Taeil_ …

 

The elder is relentless, almost methodical in their ministrations, making sure that Yukhei is never left empty or untouched for even a second. Their hair is falling in front of their face, framing their eyes that are threatening to burn a mark on Yukhei’s skin.

 

He’d wear it like a badge of honor.

 

Soon, Yukhei finds himself panting, hips moving erratically on their own, meeting Taeil’s fingers as they move. Taeil hums in delight at that, twisting their fingers in time with their wrist, a merciless wave rolling over Yukhei’s body. It’s enough for Yukhei to squeeze his eyes shut, moaning out that’s he’s _close, so close, please just a little more,_ his toes curling when Taeil picks up the pace, heat pooling in the crook of his thighs in crescendo with each thrust, the dam crumbling little by little and…

Just as Yukhei feels himself tipping over the edge, Taeil stops moving and wraps two fingers around the base of his cock, keeping him still as he cries out.

 

“Not yet, baby.”

 

Yukhei feels his body tensing, frustration and need taking over him again. He tries to lift his head to look at Taeil, to plead with them, but he can’t find the strength, not when his entire being feels so hot and tight. Taeil lets go of his cock gently, rubbing their hand over Yukhei’s stomach as their finger resume their steady movements.

 

“You’re doing so well. Give me just a little more?”

 

Yukhei goes soft under their touch, the way they speak, how they caress down his length before taking him in their hand again. It’s the kind of touch he’s been craving, Taeil’s own brand of pleasure, for him and only him, at least tonight. He can live a little better knowing Taeil wants him too, that maybe they thought about this, about having him laid out and pliant, giving him everything he’s wanted.

 

“O-okay, but please don’t …”

 

One, two. Fingers thrust deep inside him and the hand holding his dick drags up with them.

 

“Yes?”

 

One, two. They pull out slowly and their palm wraps around the head, smooth and excruciating.

 

“Still, I want … I need it, please.”

 

One, two. He’s stretched open more still as a third finger makes its way inside, the feeling of fullness making him feel content.

 

“Of course. Stay with me, Xuxi. I’ll take care of you.”

 

Taeil says that and Yukhei knows they mean it, from the way their eyes study his face to how their hands move to build him back up after almost breaking him down, to how they keep their voice low and sweet and reassuring. It’s those little things, in different ways, that made Yukhei fall sort of in love with them, although he isn’t sure that’s the right word, maybe not yet.

 

Words aren’t important right now, anyway. He closes his eyes as Taeil fucks into him slowly, their hand around his cock going a bit faster, a bit rougher, a distorted symphony of feelings that have him writhing against the sheet in minutes that feel like hours. When he starts getting too high on the sensations, Taeil slows down, a start-stop motion that only kindles the heat deep inside Yukhei a little more every time they pick it up again.

The world is slow and warm around them, night barely falling outside, the sunset illuminating the room, light falling on Taeil’s cheekbones as they tilt their head to the side, their lips parted and their eyes strained, hooded lids and fluttering eyelashes making them look like an artist at work. Yukhei wonders for a moment how they’re feeling, if they’re sitting on their own wave of arousal just for his sake, but he’s not given much chance to think as his insides tense up a little more with each stroke, each thrust, each touch more intense than the last.

 

He doesn’t know how Taeil does this, how they have this power over him that makes him want to do his best for them even as every rational bone in his body is screaming for release. He disregards them, spreads his legs open, hazy eyes marveling at how well Taeil fits between them.

 

This is definitely better than the evenings he spent desperately humping his pillow.

 

“Xuxi…” Taeil breathes out, shifting where they’re sitting, their skirt bunching up their thighs. It doesn’t lead anywhere, and they shake their head with a sigh.

 

Yukhei makes a mental note that he hopes to remember, to finally get his hands under that damn skirt.

 

Slowly, like the low rumble of the earth beneath them, Yukhei feels a stirring of heat and pleasure deep down, every movement working up to the next, like the calm before a tropical storm. This is one he'll welcome with relief.

 

“So good for me.” he hears, Taeil’s voice tinged with something deep and dark, their hands working up a faster pace, a build up to the climax.

 

Something inside Yukhei snaps suddenly when Taeil grazes over his prostate, his toes curling and heat shooting down his legs. He makes a garbled noise in the back of his throat, Taeil pressing down on his cock as they stroke him, a litany of whimpers and moans falling from Yukhei’s lips.

 

“That’s so good, baby. Can you get there?” it’s more of an urging than a question, and the only response Yukhei gives is to kick his feet weakly, hips grinding down on Taeil’s fingers as he searches for that same sensation.

 

It takes some trial and error but he gets there, fucking himself down on Taeil’s fingers in earnest, the elder now focused on Yukhei’s dick, heavy in their hand. Yukhei feels himself twitching once, twice, and he gives a small cry in warning as he pushes back, his whole body going haywire when the earth finally turns over.

 

There’s ringing in his ears like a siren, noise that he didn’t conjure up but edges him on anyway as he comes all over Taeil’s hand and his own stomach, breathy moans getting louder and louder as wave after wave rolls over him. Taeil fucks him through it, blindly, their eyes squeezed shut while Yukhei aimlessly thrashes around on the comforter.

 

“Fuck, Taeil..!”

 

The world goes black.

 

When Yukhei opens his eyes, Taeil is looking it him, panting as they pull their fingers out slowly. They rest their hands on Yukhei’s trembling thighs, desperate to catch their breath.

 

“Taeil?” Yukhei tries, hoisting himself up, looking around the room for tissues or wet wipes or even his own shirt to clean himself up.

 

Taeil lets out a small, breathy laugh, pressing their legs together in an obvious attempt to keep themselves grounded. Yukhei discards his own comfort as he folds his legs, watching as Taeil almost falls forward into his lap. He catches them easily, a hand on the small of their back as they bury their face in the crook of his neck.

 

“Do you mind..?” they mumble, voice hoarse, hot breath against his skin making Yukhei shiver with adoration. Of course not.

 

He uses whatever strength he has left to maneuver them fully in his lap, their knees on either side of him, Taeil’s arms resting limp on his shoulders. Yukhei presses a kiss to their cheek for good measure before his fingers start inching up their thighs, under that soft cotton that drives him mad finding the waistband of their panties. He traces over the delicate lace, finding Taeil’s hardness snug against the garment. He pulls it down slowly, as much as he can without tearing, catching Taeil’s cock in his hand when it springs free.

 

They’re already leaking, enough for Yukhei to return their own actions in kind and smear the wetness down when he starts pumping Taeil’s cock, stuttering movements that have them bucking their hips up into his fist.

 

“Goddamnit, Xuxi, don’t tease!” they whine, nails digging in Yukhei’s shoulderblade.

 

Yukhei gives a tired grin that they can’t see, thumbing over the slit in response, Taeil moaning open mouthed against his neck. It doesn’t take much more than that, Yukhei’s large hand enveloping Taeil’s length almost entirely, warmth and friction driving them up the metaphorical wall before they can even catch their breath.

 

They come with a soft moan, making a mess of their skirt and Yukhei’s hand, hips bucking forward for that last bit of contact that’ll make everything just that much better.

 

“You’re paying for dry cleaning.” Taeil says through a laugh.

Yukhei makes an offended noise, dropping his head on Taeil’s shoulder.

 

“You started it!” he exclaims, exaggeration coating his voice, his arms coming to circle Taeil’s waist like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

 

“Yeah. But aren’t you glad I did?”

 

He really is. It wasn’t how he envisioned it, not how he fantasized about it, but the reality of it is that life’s never going to be. That’s the thrill of it all, he supposes, and he wouldn’t ever want it any other way.

 

“So, what about that song?” he teases, fingers mimicking a pianist’s on Taeil’s back. He still wants to hear it, if it ever was. Taeil’s voice is all he needs right now.

 

Taeil laughs, lifting their head to pepper kisses along Yukhei’s jaw and cheek.

 

“I’ll sing it to you in the shower. The acoustics are _great_.”

 

They both tumble off the bed giggling, the shuffling of their feet across the floor and the beating of their hearts the only background music they need.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to bru, dylan & ricki for the endless support and always enabling me. 
> 
> catch me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/diaminghao) yo.


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